Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Significance of red.

J and I met every weekend since that unforgettable date. Our activities always revolved around eating, talking and making out. It's fine but when 80% of the time were spent in a car, I couldn't help but felt restless. He wasn't keen on taking me out as there was risk of repercussion, he was supposedly a reputable man, while I was a youthful looking and illegal 16 year old.

I guess he too was getting bored of the arrangement as one day he suggested that we should meet up in hotels instead. I didn't exactly jump at the idea, but it was surely better than the clastrophobic car. He told me to meet him at a 4-star hotel at Jalan Pudu. I knew this time, he was going to fuck me for real. I felt a mixture of fear and excitement at the prospect.

The weekend arrived and I took a cab to the hotel. The cab driver was very talkative. He asked me many questions, such as my age, what I was studying, my intention of going to the hotel and many more. It felt as though he was interrogating me. I felt terribly uncomfortable but I had a policy of not irking cab drivers. So, I answered every question albeit with imaginary answer.

Until today, I have never liked taking cabs, specifically when going to a hotel. Maybe it's me, but I think they have an insatiable curiousity about lone females going to hotels. I had met some normal ones who concentrated on their work, but most of them asked a lot of questions. I had even encountered a few who lectured me on sex education, using very politically correct names for genitals.

Anyhow, I survived the journey to the hotel. Upon entering the lobby, I rushed to the elevators and was so relieved to find one available. The whole process of taking a cab to entering the lobby to searching for elevators was pretty much a torture. I felt like I was being watched and judged by every pair of eyes that looked my way. I suppose in a way, you could say I had stigmatized myself.

My palms were sweaty by the time I reached his hotel room. I attempted to dry them by rubbing them across my denim skirt. I can't tolerate soggy palms myself and I was not about to commit double standard. When I was satisfied with the condition of my palms, I pressed the doorbell. I heard ruffles and plastic scrunching.

Then the door opened, and there he was, standing at the doorway, wrapped only in a towel. His hair seemed wet and I figured he had just came out of the shower. J took me by the arm and pulled me into the room. As usual, he gave me a hug and a peck on my lips.

I saw a pair of dirty Dr. Martens and a construction helmet. He told me he had just gotten back from a construction site and he couldn't stop thinking about me then. I smiled and played with his hair. There probably was nothing much to say anyway, he then pushed me onto the bed, deliberately fell on top of me and started kissing me passionately.

While still kissing me, he slipped his hand underneath my skirt and repetitively squeezed my ass. There's something about a man's calloused hand on your soft, unexposed buttocks. It was very sensual and I was beginning to feel a nudging sensation at my pussy. Suddenly he just stopped and he positioned himself over me; I was lying between his thighs. Then he began to unbutton my blouse, exposing my bra. He cupped both my covered breast and started sniffing me.

He sniffed my neck, my chest, my naval, my inner thighs and my pussy. In addition to that, he did it with loud gruntings. After that, he unhooked my bra and right after my breasts popped out, he had them in his mouth. He was sucking my nipples so hard but his ferociousness only made me more horny. I couldn't help curling my toes and I was doing it so intensely my legs were moving everywhere in bed. After sucking my nipples and practically kneaded my breasts till they were sore, he licked my neck and eventually my earlobes. By then I could felt my wetness on my pussy and the nudging sensation was almost unbearable.

He slipped a finger into my pussy, pulled it out and sucked it. Then he slipped it back in and finger fucked me. It was very good and I could feet my ass contracting and a need to thrust my pelvic area upwards. I could hold no longer and I gave out a moan. It wasn't an orgasm but I was a pretty quiet girl. J got so excited hearing me moaned that he immediately quicken the pace of his finger. He then inserted two fingers in and continued to fuck me. I almost pulled the sheets off the bed.

Moments later, he whispered the magic words. "Can I fuck you?". I was too delirious to say no, I could only nod. He stopped what he was doing and spread my legs. He rubbed his cockhead over my pussy lips to lubricate it. It felt very nice. Then he tried to insert his cock into me, as it entered.....the reality of the situation shocked me out of ecstasy.

It was unbelievably painful. I yelped in pain. He assured me that it was going to be over in seconds and that I would beg for it later on. As he finished his words, he gave a hard thrust and I went dizzy. He gave several thrusts again and I begged him to stop. I cried and my body was covered in cold sweat.

He collapsed by my side and I could see that his cock went flacid almost immediately. We did not speak at all. I then went to the toilet to pee. It really stung, I teared again. After I finished, I wiped my pussy with some tissues and there were spots of blood on it. I showed it to him and he smiled. I felt a sudden, very real sense of belonging to him.

After a while, I felt guilty for not providing him with proper sex, I sucked him off in the bathroom, with the shower over us. Good for him, but not for me. I drank a lot of uncooked water that day.