Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Saved by the call.

My relationship with my boyfriend has disintegrated. It happened not long after I published my last entry. It was not due to my infidelity, no. Perhaps I will write about it in near future. Due to the breakup, I was contemplating ending this blog. I just couldn't write as recalling my sexual endeavors seemed a wicked thing to do for a supposedly broken-hearted woman, even to my standard. My inclination however, changed when I received an unexpected phonecall this afternoon.

It was my ex, P. The second oldest man I have been with and by far the most serious relationship I could boast of. We were together for 4 years. When we broke up, I was actually suicidal for a couple of months. P is 25 years my senior, a jet-setting businessman, tall, lean and handsome. He was in town, en route to Singapore and had called me up to say hi. He wanted to meet up for coffee but I had to decline because I just wasn't in the mood to meet anyone. I told him about the breakup and he was sympathetic. He said that he still misses me and that if I ever needed companionship, he would be at my beck and call. We ended the conversation with a promise to keep in contact.

P's call lifted the floodgate of memories we shared together. P's a friend of my girlfriend's boyfriend. I had only turned 18 when I met him and the attraction was instant. We exchanged email addresses and started corresponding with each other. Soon after that, we began dating and the rest is history. He is an incredibly skillful lover. Before I knew him, I had very faint idea of how slow and passionate love making was like; my previous lovers were mostly rowdy cowboys, so to speak. But with P, it was magnificent.

He's an avid golfer so I used to accompany him at the driving range. I enjoyed watching him swing. The sight of his body contorting reminded me of the things that he could do in bed. I would get horny almost everytime and begged him to take me home so that he could fuck me.

There was one time when he played until midnight. We were practically shooed by the workers. By the time we were leaving, the carpark was almost deserted. All the lights were switched off and it was really quiet. I quickly got into the car while P put his golf bag into the boot. After he got into the car, P asked me for a kiss.

I leaned towards him, gave him a peck on the lips and retracted back to my seat. Then, he crossed his arms and sulked. I asked him what's wrong. He did not say a word. Instead, he exaggerated a pout. So, I leaned towards him and kissed him again. He hugged me and gave me a french kiss. He slipped his hand into my top and carressed my back. Before I knew it, he had unhooked my bra. He cupped my breasts and pinched my nipples.

We continued kissing until he gently pulled my face away. I was really horny then and begged him to take me home to fuck me. But he refused. I touched his crotch and his cock was bursting out from his pants, why wouldn't he want to fuck me? He unzipped his pants and his cock sprung out. He wanted me to suck him off, butI told him I would only oblige on one condition. I wanted him to finger me at the same time. He readily agreed.

I pulled both my panties and shorts to my knees. Then, I knelt on my seat with my thighs apart. P stuck a finger into my pussy effortlessly as I was so wet. He then pulled it out and stuck in two fingers. I couldn't help moaning. While he was fucking me with his fingers, he started to rub his cock with his other hand. Upon seeing that, I remembered my part of the deal. I leaned forward and licked his cock. There was a tinge of saltiness and a whiff of dampness, but I liked it. Cock and balls should never taste and smell like a soap.

It was the usual stuff, I sucked him off and he made me came. Nothing to shout about. But it was P, and that's why I won't forget it.

He offered me a vacation in Phuket during our conversation this afternoon. I'm terribly enticed but the prospect of stumbling upon rotting cadavers is quite unnerving. He assured me that the place is pretty much back to normal. I thought so but it's still quite scary. Then again, I might take up his offer but God knows we're not going to sleep in different beds.

p/s: I have received many emails lately and there were many questions regarding my age, sexual preference, marital status and etc. I have made an attempt to answer every mail but by the 7th email, I realised I've been writing the same things. So I'm thinking that you guys could ask me a question(s) here in my blog. I'll try my best to answer all of them and will publish them as my next entry. Thanks for reading me.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

A cheating context.

My Mother hates my boyfriend. For reasons known only to her, she hates him. I really like my boyfriend as he's one of the very few people who actually care about me but my Mother seems to think otherwise. One day, about a month ago, Mother could not stop complaining about useless he is, penniless and so on. I was in a rather horrid mood that day as my presentation did not go very well and my lecturer had made a very sarcastic remark, which all the more worsen my mood. The last thing I wanted was an old woman yakking non-stop over things that I have already known. So, I snapped. I asked her to shut up, slammed the door and drove out to the city.

It was around 6pm and I got stuck in the rush hour traffic. My Mother's words kept ringing in my ears and I decided to call my boyfriend. I wanted to talk to him badly. However, he didn't answer the phone. After about 6 tries, I gave up calling him and tried to calm myself down. It failed and in a matter of seconds, I had established that I hated him.

Isn't it weird how some things happen at the unlikeliest moment? As my car jerked forward in the jam, I heard a couple of honks. Instinctively, I looked towards the direction of the noise. To my surprise, it was N in a car next to mine. I was pleasantly surprised. A friend introduced me to N. About 40 years old, single, professional, cultured, groomed and the seediest character I've ever known. We had slept together for 4 times and they were amazing sex. However, his horrible after-sex etiquette was a complete put off for me, which was why there wasn't a number 5. He was a commitment paranoid and he practically shooed me out from his house everytime after sex. What irked me most was it didn't even occur to me to have him as a regular lover, let alone a steady. So I stopped picking up his calls.

On that day however, I was happy to see a familiar face after that ordeal. He called me seconds later and we chit-chatted while being stuck in a jam together. It was nice and strangely comforting, something I'd never done before. Before long, the conversation had developed into something steamier and he was begging me to go home with him. I agreed. I allowed him to overtake me so I could tail him back to his place.

N lived in U Thant in a Balinese inspired, very quaint bungalow. I liked his place a fair lot but I still couldn't help but picked on him on the fact that his house was a carbon copy of designs found in typical coffee table books. Beautiful, yes, but equally boring and predictable. He pretended to be annoyed and pinched my arm. I retaliated and it went on back and forth for about 5 minutes. At last, we got bored and plunked down on the plush sofa. It was weird as both of us were staring straight at the television, which was not switched on, I was cracking my head trying to break the awkward silence and I presumed he was too.

After a while, I sat up straight, crossed my legs, turned back and smiled at him. As I gestured that I was going to leave, he held both my shoulders and pulled himself closer to me. Then, he gathered my hair, pushed them away and proceeded to nuzzle the back of my neck. I knew that if I didn't do something about it I would be betraying my boyfriend. N then started to rub both my arms up and down while still nuzzling my neck. I don't know why but at that point I stopped thinking, closed my eyes and decided to just enjoy it. He began to kiss my neck, occasionally licking me. He kissed his way down to my shoulder and gave me a gentle bite. He then made me stand up and began to undress me. He took off my spaghetti strap top and unzipped my shorts. When I was left in only my bra and panties, he took a step backward, crossed his arms and eyed me from head to toe. He shook his head and mumbled something like, "So beautiful, so soft". I just stood there and smiled at him. Then, he started to take off his own clothes. He removed his T-shirt, drawstring pants and boxers. I almost forgot how fit he was. He's a Chindian, tall, slightly tanned but with attractive, sharp features. Not to mention being incredibly well endowed.

He continued to undress me. When we were both fully naked, we hugged each other and he thrust his cock onto my pubic area. I could feel his hardness and it made me so horny. I stood on my toe so that I could be tall enough to let his cock slipped right in between my legs. He continued thrusting until I couldn’t take it anymore.

I let go of him and sat on the sofa with my legs spread. I touched my wet pussy with one hand and beckoned him to do whatever with my other hand. He walked slowly towards me while I stuck one of my fingers into my pussy. I moaned and kept on fingering myself. Then I sucked on the finger and stuck it back into my pussy. Eventually, I begged N to fuck me.

He knelt down in front of me and forcefully pulled me to him. The height of the sofa was perfect, my pussy was just nicely aligned with his cock. He then got hold of his cock and rubbed his cockhead over my wet pussy. He circled his cockhead around my pussy, sometimes entering me slightly and pulled out immediately. I held on to the sofa’s edge and arched my back. It was at that moment he shoved his whole cock into me. I wrapped my legs around his torso and he started pumping me. I cried out his name, asking him to fuck me again and again. He seemed encouraged as his thrusting got faster and powerful.

I couldn’t hold on to the sofa and held on to his shoulders instead. He continued to fuck me without sign of exhaustion. He made me cum twice. It was amazing. Even after I came, he didn’t seem to want to stop, only resting for a while to catch his breath. I was getting really sore and I told him that. Upon hearing it, he started fucking me hard again. Then he pulled out and came all over my tummy. He fell on top of me and both of us dozed off in that position.

After a few hours, N woke me up. I showered and went home feeling really guilty. My boyfriend did call me after that. Apparently, he had muted his phone, so he did not hear it rang. He came to my place with a teddy bear that belonged to his sister to make it up for me. I couldn’t help but be extra nice to him. We made love but N was on my mind the whole time.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Significance of red.

J and I met every weekend since that unforgettable date. Our activities always revolved around eating, talking and making out. It's fine but when 80% of the time were spent in a car, I couldn't help but felt restless. He wasn't keen on taking me out as there was risk of repercussion, he was supposedly a reputable man, while I was a youthful looking and illegal 16 year old.

I guess he too was getting bored of the arrangement as one day he suggested that we should meet up in hotels instead. I didn't exactly jump at the idea, but it was surely better than the clastrophobic car. He told me to meet him at a 4-star hotel at Jalan Pudu. I knew this time, he was going to fuck me for real. I felt a mixture of fear and excitement at the prospect.

The weekend arrived and I took a cab to the hotel. The cab driver was very talkative. He asked me many questions, such as my age, what I was studying, my intention of going to the hotel and many more. It felt as though he was interrogating me. I felt terribly uncomfortable but I had a policy of not irking cab drivers. So, I answered every question albeit with imaginary answer.

Until today, I have never liked taking cabs, specifically when going to a hotel. Maybe it's me, but I think they have an insatiable curiousity about lone females going to hotels. I had met some normal ones who concentrated on their work, but most of them asked a lot of questions. I had even encountered a few who lectured me on sex education, using very politically correct names for genitals.

Anyhow, I survived the journey to the hotel. Upon entering the lobby, I rushed to the elevators and was so relieved to find one available. The whole process of taking a cab to entering the lobby to searching for elevators was pretty much a torture. I felt like I was being watched and judged by every pair of eyes that looked my way. I suppose in a way, you could say I had stigmatized myself.

My palms were sweaty by the time I reached his hotel room. I attempted to dry them by rubbing them across my denim skirt. I can't tolerate soggy palms myself and I was not about to commit double standard. When I was satisfied with the condition of my palms, I pressed the doorbell. I heard ruffles and plastic scrunching.

Then the door opened, and there he was, standing at the doorway, wrapped only in a towel. His hair seemed wet and I figured he had just came out of the shower. J took me by the arm and pulled me into the room. As usual, he gave me a hug and a peck on my lips.

I saw a pair of dirty Dr. Martens and a construction helmet. He told me he had just gotten back from a construction site and he couldn't stop thinking about me then. I smiled and played with his hair. There probably was nothing much to say anyway, he then pushed me onto the bed, deliberately fell on top of me and started kissing me passionately.

While still kissing me, he slipped his hand underneath my skirt and repetitively squeezed my ass. There's something about a man's calloused hand on your soft, unexposed buttocks. It was very sensual and I was beginning to feel a nudging sensation at my pussy. Suddenly he just stopped and he positioned himself over me; I was lying between his thighs. Then he began to unbutton my blouse, exposing my bra. He cupped both my covered breast and started sniffing me.

He sniffed my neck, my chest, my naval, my inner thighs and my pussy. In addition to that, he did it with loud gruntings. After that, he unhooked my bra and right after my breasts popped out, he had them in his mouth. He was sucking my nipples so hard but his ferociousness only made me more horny. I couldn't help curling my toes and I was doing it so intensely my legs were moving everywhere in bed. After sucking my nipples and practically kneaded my breasts till they were sore, he licked my neck and eventually my earlobes. By then I could felt my wetness on my pussy and the nudging sensation was almost unbearable.

He slipped a finger into my pussy, pulled it out and sucked it. Then he slipped it back in and finger fucked me. It was very good and I could feet my ass contracting and a need to thrust my pelvic area upwards. I could hold no longer and I gave out a moan. It wasn't an orgasm but I was a pretty quiet girl. J got so excited hearing me moaned that he immediately quicken the pace of his finger. He then inserted two fingers in and continued to fuck me. I almost pulled the sheets off the bed.

Moments later, he whispered the magic words. "Can I fuck you?". I was too delirious to say no, I could only nod. He stopped what he was doing and spread my legs. He rubbed his cockhead over my pussy lips to lubricate it. It felt very nice. Then he tried to insert his cock into me, as it entered.....the reality of the situation shocked me out of ecstasy.

It was unbelievably painful. I yelped in pain. He assured me that it was going to be over in seconds and that I would beg for it later on. As he finished his words, he gave a hard thrust and I went dizzy. He gave several thrusts again and I begged him to stop. I cried and my body was covered in cold sweat.

He collapsed by my side and I could see that his cock went flacid almost immediately. We did not speak at all. I then went to the toilet to pee. It really stung, I teared again. After I finished, I wiped my pussy with some tissues and there were spots of blood on it. I showed it to him and he smiled. I felt a sudden, very real sense of belonging to him.

After a while, I felt guilty for not providing him with proper sex, I sucked him off in the bathroom, with the shower over us. Good for him, but not for me. I drank a lot of uncooked water that day.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

The memorable second date.

J was 30 years older than me. Once again, I hooked up with someone from MIRC. We actually dated for about 2 months and I sort of lost my virginity to him. Why almost? I'll talk about that later.

Anyway, J was a handsome man. Tall and fit with some grey hair that looked really good on him. He was charismatic and very sexy. Merely being in his presence brought me tonnes of sexual fantasies, which almost always got me wet.

Our first date was boring stuff; makan, loads of kissing and then he sent me home. Our second date on the other hand, was quite bizarre. He had agreed to pick me up from Mcdonald's of one shopping complex in my neighbourhood. I was surprised to see him drove a Mercedes as previously he was only driving a station wagon. I asked him why and he said he wanted to make sure that I wasn't some materialistic bitch. Interesting I thought, maybe he's serious about me.

I had no idea what we were going to do that day. We were basically driving around hoping to come across something interesting to do. Then he suggested that we visit some bungalow plots owned by his company in Seremban. The journey was quiet and he held my hand throughout, with the air-con on full blast.

We were getting hungry, so the first place we headed to while in Seremban was a foodcourt. By then I was already shivering and I kept rubbing my arms. He was surprised as to why I did not ask him to turn down the air-con; I told him I didn't want to interrupt the hand holding session. He smiled and kissed me on the lips. Then he slipped his hand beneath my bra and cupped my left breast.

He commented that I was indeed cold as he could feel my hard nipple. He kissed me more, occassionally pinching my nipple. After a while, he looked at me and said he wanted me braless for the whole day. "Even at the foodcourt?", I asked. And he nodded. I was a little hesitant but then I thought, why not, since I was in some faraway town of Seremban; nobody knew me. He helped me unbuckled my bra and then stuffed it in the glove compartment.

There I was, ordering asam laksa, in my tight black top/miniskirt ensemble and braless. My nipples were peeking through my top but I held my head high as though I didn't give a damn. Honestly though, I was really nervous about it. J seemed pleased and would grab my breasts when nobody's looking.

After lunch, we went to see the bungalow plots. Not many bungalows were built yet then so it was a pretty deserted place. We found a little hidden corner and parked there. J started kissing me, slow at first but picking up in pace as minutes went by. He slipped both his hands underneath my top and began to rub my back. I reciprocated, unbuttoning his shirt. He stopped me half way though, as he insisted to be clothed - both of us. I said okay and we continued to make out. He licked my ears and it was so good I felt like I was going to orgasm. That was how I discovered the erogenous quality of my ears.

I rubbed the growing bulge at his crotch. He then unzipped his jeans and slipped out his cock from his boxers. He asked me whether I would suck it and I said yes. J's cock was longer and thicker than the bastard in my previous entries but his balls were a tad funny looking. Sort of saggy and unelastic, probably due to his age I reckon. It didn't bother me though. I lick it from the base up to the tip over and over again. I ran my tongue all over his shaft, occasionally sucking the head. He began to beg me to suck it all and suck it hard but I continued teasing him. I gently but firmly squeezed his balls and he seemed to love it as I could hear him moaned. Having enough of teasing, I put it all in my mouth. And he let out a loud moan. I moved my head up and down, trying my best to take all in. I sucked it hard at first, then I slowed down my pace and gently savoured the cock, like a popsicle. I continued doing that for sometime until he took charge. He grabbed my head and pull me up and down until he came. I swallowed - it was nice.

We rested for a while, drank some water and then decided to head back to Kuala Lumpur. On the way back, we passed by a waterfall. He suggested that we check it out and I agreed. I wanted to spend more time with him anyway. It was already quite late and there were only two Malay families at the wading pool. We decided to hike up the hill where there was a few shacks. There was not a single soul there and we naturally felt naughty.

I sat down on a bench and he knelt between my legs. He slipped his hands beneath my skirt and rubbed my thighs. Then he used a finger and rubbed in between my pussy. I was only wearing a thong so I could feel his finger against my pussy flesh. Moments later I could feel my pussy getting really slippery. Without wasting time he hiked up my skirt, spread my legs wider and dove into my pussy. It was so good, I felt tingles in my palms and feet. He licked and he sucked. He did it slow and fast, all the while staring straight at me. I didn't know what fuck was but I wanted so badly to fuck him there and there. Next, he inserted one finger into me. It was slightly painful but still good, I was getting wetter. Then he inserted another finger and there were two going in and out of my wet pussy.

Perhaps he got tired, he sat down beside me and instructed me to sit on his lap. I obeyed. He asked me to put up my legs and rest my feet on the edge of the bench. I followed exactly what he said and I was sitting on him, with my legs spread facing the waterfalls. There's only one word to describe it - fantastic. He proceeded to fuck me with his two fingers again; very hard and swift. This time, he was able to kiss and lick my neck. It just got better and better and then he licked my ears.

I came in less than 5 seconds.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

I invited him home.

I was over the moon for a couple of days after the date. The realisation only came to me after that, kicked in after my hormones had settled and my mind had managed to regain its balance. It unfolded before me like a horrible nightmare.

Being alone with him would inevitably meant that the cherry's heading the exit door. Was I ready to give it up? Was he the right man? Okay, so if it were going to happen, how could I ask him to wear a condom, minus the embarrassment? What if he refused and he had some big STD brewing in his body? What if my parents walked in on us? What if the neighbours reported a stranger entering my house to my parents? What if he dumped me after the sex? Really, there were so many questions that I was on the verge of calling it off. And yet, I chickened out, because the last thing I wanted to do was to piss him off. I swallowed my fear and hoped for the best, consoling myself that everything's going to be okay. Nowadays, when I recall this, I'm amazed at how incredibly naive I was. All I needed to do was to give an otherwise negative thing a rather politically correct noun and I was set to go.

Sigh...a child's mind that was essentially simple.

The day finally arrived after what seemed like an eternity. I had successfully suppressed my fears and was excitingly prepping up the living room for him. I vaccummed and mopped the marble floor so that when he walked in, it would feel cool beneath his feet. I hid all the tacky looking figurines that my Mother loved, just in case he thought they were mine. I switched on the air-conditioner, a luxury that my Father seldom allowed us to use unless there were guests. I made two glasses of honey lemonades.

At around 3pm, I saw his car zooming pass my gates. I panicked, thinking he had missed the house. Frantically, I called him to inform about his mistake but he calmly told me that he had deliberately parked the car away from my house. I thought it was a bright idea. Then I saw him grinning, at the gates with his handset to his ear. Without wasting anymore time, I let him in.

We hugged each other very tightly. He was wearing a dark blue shirt and black trousers, I knew he had just snuck out from work to see me. I could still smell his cologne - Farenheit, he said. Until today, it is still one of my favourite scents, sweet but no less manly.

He led me to the sofa and sat me down. Before I could even invite him to take a sip of my home-made honey lemonade, he had pulled my face to his and kissed me like a hungry dog. All I remembered was a wet tongue all over my face and a tinge of disgust. There went my first kiss, how utterly boring. He also sucked almost every part of my neck. I was in quite a state of shock, sitting there like a blowup doll.

Perhaps realising my lack of action, he stopped. He grabbed my shoulders firmly and made me sat straight facing him. Then he brushed my fringe to the side of my face. He put a finger to his lips indicating to me to be quiet. I obeyed and sat still, silent. After scrutinising me for a good 5 minutes, he stood up and began to undress me. Part of my mind was protesting but my whole body was beginning to tingle. My palms and my feet felt like they were just recovering from a long period of numbness. When I was fully naked, he cupped my breasts, but not completely, only touching them with the tips of his fingers. He would let go and cupped them the same way over and over again. Occasionally, I could feel my hard nipples touching his palms.

He stopped and instructed me to spread my legs; proceeded to go down on me. It felt really weird, but unbelievably good. However, when he thrusted his tongue in my pussy, I felt a little pain, but they were too minuscule to be complained about. I was shivering so badly (it was either the pleasure or the blast of the air-con) that I kept closing my thighs together, sandwiching his head in the process. When I did that, he would forcibly spread my legs again and instructed me not to do it but I honestly couldn't help it. He must have gotten tired from me trying to squash his head that he stopped.

Then he unzipped his trousers and pulled out his cock. It was the first real life cock that I'd ever seen and I was astounded - couldn't stop giggling. It was uncircumcised and it was glistening at the tip. He asked me whether I wanted to taste his cock. I was like, what? He told me that it would be the best thing I have ever tasted and that I would be addicted to it. Of course, I didn't believe him, but I didn't want to piss him off. So, I asked him to teach me how to do it. He gave me a rundown of what to do, namely to have as much of the cock in my mouth and to tuck my teeth in - I could nibble it, very lightly at times but I should never gnaw it.

So I knelt beside him and started to blow him. It was the most disgusting thing I had ever done. I could taste his pre-cum, which was bitterish and foreign to my mouth. I wanted to puke. And he was shoving his cock up my throat so hard, over and over again. My eyes began to tear. Whenever I wanted to stop, he would grab my hair and just pushed my head down. It went on for a while until he came and my jaw was so sore I thought it had dislocated. I got up and he asked me why for and I told him I wanted to spit his cum out, but he did not allow me. He said I ought to swallow it, cause it was tasty. Again, not wanting to piss him off, I swallowed. It was unbelievably foul. It's good thing that I had much better (and tastier) lovers after him, otherwise I would have been put off from sucking cocks for life. Nowadays, I love sucking my bf off and swallowing his cum - best part of making love.

Moments after that, he got dressed and left. Just like that. He didn't even touch my honey lemonade. I actually spent a fortune on some high-grade honey for him, that bastard. Mom came home about an hour after that and enquired about that extra glass of drink. For a second I panicked, but managed to came up with some convincing excuse. She wouldn't have suspected it anyway; her 15 year old girl's rendezvous with a 32 year old man? Please.

After the episode, he didn't call me anymore. I called him a few times and finally got the message. I cried non-stop for a couple of days over the "break-up". On the other hand, in some twisted way, I felt like a grown-up, superior to my peers. Suddenly, I began to notice men much older than me. As though the experience had christened my state of mind.


Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Recounting my first sexual experience.

I was 15 and he was 17 years my senior. I actually thought it was love.

I got to know him through MIRC. He messaged me first; there were the usual questions of a/s/l, occupation and the likes. He told me he was a designer, a lingerie designer. I was impressed. We chatted for a couple of days after that, eventually talking on the phone. We talked about family, his, my studies, his work and of course, sex. He was the first person I had phone sex with.

I had started masturbating very early, probably around 10 and I looked at the occasional porns available on the Internet, but phone sex He asked me to do various things from the other side of the line, the most memorable one being that I was to stand at my doorway in the nude, with the fan switched on and facing me. Then he demanded that I bend my knees and stick my index finger into my pussy. I obeyed.

I flooded.

I can't remember at what point we decided to meet up, but we did. The venue we agreed on was a major shopping mall in the Golden Triangle. After the date was confirmed, I remember being plagued by nervousness. But I wanted to meet him badly.

On that day, I brought along a girlfriend of mine (Sure, I was terribly naive but I was brought up by a Mother who is very good in instilling common sense). I was quite conscious about how I looked as I had just had a terrible hair cut. It mortified me, and I was thinking, he was surely going to be repulsed. So I tried to fix it with tonnes of glittered hair clips. Thinking back now brings a smile to my face; I was so silly.

At noon, with the support of my girlfriend, I waited anxiously at the cafe. There was a number of reasons to why I was nervous. First, I had never seen him. Not even a picture. All I knew was that he's 5'9", longish hair, pleasant looking and in pretty good shape. Secondly, I didn't know what should be the appropriate gesture when I see him. Hug him? A kiss? What if he's ugly? That was another concern.

He arrived. To cut the story short, I wasn't impressed with his looks. He turned out to be 'almost' 5'8" and he seemed to be slouching. The worst thing was, he was apparently more interested in my girlfriend. I'm definitely above average now but back then, I was a gawky, nervous, hairclip-happy teenager. My friend on the other hand, had knew how to put on makeup beyond the basic tinted lip balm and blusher.

He wasted no time to grope me though. We were seated at the corner, you know....the ones with cushioned benches. He sat next to me whilst my girlfriend sat opposite. Out of a sudden, he just slipped his palm beneath my buttocks. I was a little shocked but allowed him nevertheless. He was working his fingers in such way that I was completely aroused. But I had to keep a straight face as my gf was chatting animatedly to both of us. He, on the other hand looked completely composed.

The date ended and he said he wanted to meet up again. Just me and him. I readily agreed. As much as I didn't really like his appearance, he was in fact average looking (not ugly) but he aroused me tremendously. Thinking back now, I guess it was just plain, honest lust. But I was afterall, only 15, still coccooned by my parents' advice, moral standing and their potential reaction. So the next best thing was what else, but to call it Love.

We agreed to meet at my home the week after, in broad daylight when the whole family would be out.